As I get older, the more history I read, the longings for the country I spent my first ten years of life grow stronger. I have often felt like the young lady who cooked, cleaned, and took care of me in my early years. She would say, “No me hallo.” Translated, it expresses a sentiment of not belonging in a strange place. For her, home was the Republic of Panama. The strange place? The Canal Zone, an area that exists only in memory now, since it reverted to Panamanian control so long ago.
Looking back, I find myself longing for the rich culture, the greenery, the music, the food. It may be time for a visit back to Panama, I suppose. For now, these songs of hope and belonging transport me in space and time. Not all of them are Panamanian, but represent the power of this longing I have.
There’s also something to listening to song of your country of birth in your first language. Each song stirs my emotions, oh so deeply.
This song makes me choke up and tears come to my eyes, as I remember the breezes of Panama’s beaches on a hot day, walking in the sands of Punta Chame, playing in the area around my Grandmother’s house in Santiago, or watching the heavy rain of the season, listening to the frogs (or catching them), the hugs of the greenery and trees.
No doubt, it is the reading of America’s history that makes me long for the comfort of childhood’s experiences. While injustice triumphs in every space, including Panama, I can’t help but want to reach for what made life good then. I often I wish I could introduce my entire family in the United States, but fear that there is no way they can walk the paths I have trod since those places are no more.
In the meantime, I listen and learn.
Everything posted on Miguel Guhlin’s blogs/wikis are his personal opinion and do not necessarily represent the views of his employer(s) or its clients. Read Full Disclosure
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